Robert Gibbs Sends Me A Fundraising Letter. I Reply.

Sitting fresh in my email inbox just moments ago was the following letter from Robert Gibbs, using a Democrats.org email address and attempting to fundraise off Mitt Romney’s admittedly cringe-worthy sucking up to the southern states this week, as he heads to what looks like across-the-board defeats to either Santorum or Gingrich in The Deep South™.

This particular fundraising letter appears to be so hot-off-the-presses that, as of this writing, I cannot find a copy of it online to link you to (my guess is that I got targeted with it because I actually live here in Georgia). So instead, I’m reproducing Gibbs’ letter in full below (and my reply follows):

Mitt Romney has got to stop saying “y’all.”

Campaigning for the Alabama and Mississippi primaries the last couple of weeks, he’s been making his way through the South and coming out with stuff like this:

“Mornin’, y’all. Good to be with you. I got started right this morning with a biscuit and some cheesy grits.”

He’s been calling himself an “unofficial Southerner.” Yesterday he said he thinks catfish is “delicious” when, month before last, he said he didn’t like it.

I’m not sure it’s actually physically possible for a person to be any more phony. And this is a guy who thinks we’ll be fooled into thinking he’s got our best interests at heart because he uses a contraction.

Actually, he’s a career politician from 1,200 miles away who would give tax breaks to millionaires over the middle class and roll back everything President Obama’s done to create jobs and make sure our families have health care. And catfish is the least of what he’s changed his mind about: unions, Roe v. Wade, climate change — the list goes on.

He thinks he’s got a chance to win our votes. I can only figure that he thinks we’re stupid because we talk differently than he does. No matter how he does in today’s primaries, let’s get together and send a message from us straight to him: We’re not stupid, we’re not buying what you’re selling, and you don’t get to say “y’all.”

Can you give $5 right now to support Democrats and President Obama to crush this guy, soon as we can?

Thanks for whatever you can pitch in. If you can forward this to family and friends who aren’t any more inclined than you are to see Mitt Romney on TV for the next four years — let alone in the Oval Office — I’d appreciate it.

Also, it’s “cheese grits,” Governor. Not “cheesy.” Just “cheese.”

Thanks,

Robert Gibbs

My reply:

Dear Bob,

Didn’t read your letter.

Why? Because it came from you. I briefly scanned down to the bold link to make sure it was a fundraising appeal, and that’s where I stopped reading.

You see, I’m a member of the “professional left” (though of course I’m actually NOT a professional politician or advisor of any kind…unlike yourself, it’s worth noting). That means I occasionally find things about every politician that I disagree with – even the guys I usually agree with. That includes the politicians whom I know you think are supposed to be on “my team” and therefore, a la Reagan, we shouldn’t ever criticize them — at least, according to you.

This latter group would include your boss, on whose behalf you waxed apoplectic about people like me in The Hill lo these many months ago. So we’re clear, let me make sure you understand something – because you seemed not to at the time of that interview. I (and a lot of folks like me) support President Obama, mostly. Voted for him last time. Gave a fair amount of money, in dribs and drabs, when I could. Volunteered a little bit, even. But I don’t think President Obama is perfect, and I reserve the right to say so, if/when I think he’s made mistakes or done the wrong thing. That’s how democracy is supposed to work, isn’t it? 

Here’s the part you should pay attention to, Bob: I”ll probably give money again this cycle at some point between now and fall – maybe more than once.

But not to you.

Your sneering contempt for anyone like me whom you deemed an insufficiently loyal partisan hack – excuse me, I mean “team player” – came through loud and clear in that interview, Bob. Message received. And that message’s only effect, other than to ensure I’ll never give a dime to anything with your name directly attached, was to make me LESS enthusiastic in general about future Obama fundraising letters – even the ones that don’t come from you.

If – as it seemed in the Hill article – what you really want more than anything else is simply to let your rage boil over, and tell people like me how worthless you think we are…well, then, mission accomplished, Bob; you need do nothing more. But if, instead, your highest goal really IS to raise money for your President Obama’s “re-elect,” then you’d better find someone who doesn’t so clearly despise both my willingness (and seemingly even my ability) to criticize an elected official I often agree with, and get that person to ask me for it. 

In my everyday, face-to-face life, I neither respond nor even listen to people who treat me the way you seemed so eager to do during that interview. I’d be willing to bet you don’t allow people to talk that way about you to your face, either. So like I said, Bob: either go get someone else to ask me for my money – someone who isn’t as contemptuous of so many of the people he’s asking to fund him as you are – or go find yourself and your boss another ATM, you sanctimonious a$s.

Have a lovely day.

I’m obviously not naive enough to think that my refusing to give to any Gibbs-sponsored or affiliated initiative will mean anything by itself to Obama’s chances of reelection. In fact, it’s not my goal to hurt Obama’s chances of reelection. I just won’t interact with someone who’s been that much of a dick to me – especially if that interaction is in the form of said dick asking me for money. And I have to wonder whether Gibbs understands that I’m likely not anywhere close to the only one who felt turned off in some way by Gibbs’ insults, and that he did his boss no favors that day. Sucks when chickens come home to roost, eh, Bob?