I Do Not Heart Huckabee

GOP Presidential also-ran/religious troll Mike Huckabee inadvertently hit (or at least suggested) the wingnut trifecta Saturday when speaking to the Iowa Republican Party’s “Celebrate Life” event. Via Rawstory:

During his keynote speech at the Republican Party of Iowa’s Celebrate Life event on Saturday, Fox News host Mike Huckabee compared abortion in the United States to the systematic elimination of the Jewish population by the Nazis.

If you absolutely must watch Huckabee’s execrable comments in their entirety, here you go (barf bag not included):

Mike Huckabee has managed to remain even somewhat relevant in US politics for as long as he has due to two main factors. The first is that this kind of awful, lunkheaded horseshit is exactly what a large swath of today’s GOP base wants to hear. That gives him a built-in constituency. But there are plenty of others with as much or more hate to spew. Why has Huckabee succeeded – to the extent he has – where others have failed?

The second main factor in whatever success Huckabee has had is that the man sounds reasonable. And by “sounds,” I mean the actual sound of his voice. It’s also generally known – if you’re familiar with Mike Huckabee at all – that he is not just a former governor of Arkansas, but also a preacher. A man of God. That knowledge, coupled with the soothing and quite pleasant tone of his voice, almost serve to mask the hateful garbage that comes out of his mouth. Someone like Rush Limbaugh sounds and has the mannerisms of a nasty, brutish schoolyard bully: simultaneously full of fear and loathing at anyone he perceives as “the enemy™.” By contrast, Huckabee sounds like a kindly father figure – or if “father” is a bit much for you to stomach, maybe scout leader or youth group advisor. He sounds nice, even though he isn’t, and it’s what’s allowed Huckabee’s voice to be heard where people with very similar views get (rightly) marginalized for those views.

But when you get a dose of The Full Huckabee, from a setting in which he’s more-relaxed and feels he’s speaking exclusively to an audience of like-minded people (like he apparently did at the Iowa GOP’s “Celebrate Life” event), that’s when the ugliness shines forth so brightly that not even the folksy charm and soft-spoken demeanor can conceal it.

Aside from the generic awful inappropriateness of likening much of anything to the Holocaust, it struck me as interesting that Huckabee would choose to use the Schindler story as his touchstone for the comparison. Huckabee made it a point to mention that Schindler was a “bad guy” initially, highlighting that he made much of his fortune from the forced free labor of the Jews in pre-war Germany.

As I sat there seething, listening to this hateful garbage drop from Huckabee’s lips in that charming folksy voice, it occurred to me that he shouldn’t be complaining about it, he should be organizing! I mean: the GOP isn’t pro-life, they’re simply pro-birth. They’re not interested in funding Head Start or increasing funding for education, they don’t favor providing health care to expectant mothers, any of a host of other pro-ACTUAL life (not just birth) measures are anathema to the modern GOP. So why not use that indifference to the actual lives of others? Why not take Oskar Schindler’s whole example, since Huckabee was holding him up as an example anyway? Why not just go the full monty and advocate not only the eradication of legal abortion, but push for a companion law that allows the actual children who are the products of state-mandated births to poor mothers who would’ve chosen otherwise to be shipped as soon as they’re old enough right to America’s factories, to live lives of indentured servitude as a neverending repayment for their upbringing at someone else’s expense?

It’s genius! It’s clear large chunks of the south are still angry about and have not gotten over the loss of the Civil War. Shipping the human products of universal anti-abortion laws off to factories helps solve that by bringing back slavery, and it increases industrial production at virtually NO cost, since you don’t need to PAY slaves! Think about it! The wingnut trifecta: outlaw abortion, bring back slavery and increase private wealth!

Oy. This is what happens to me when I’m unwise enough to watch Huckabee speak for any length of time.

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